The problem with everyone telling me I need to see that my candidate was “deeply flawed”, is that when I look at Hillary, I see myself. I see a strong woman, willing to stand up to bullies in her work for the disadvantaged. I see a capable woman, who has succeeded at the highest levels. I see a hurt woman, who has had to smile while men make inane comments to her because she knows that to “be nice” is often the way to get through it. I see a vulnerable woman, who knows what it is to navigate a world where men can joke about assaulting her.
If my candidate is “deeply flawed”, what they are telling me to see is that I’m deeply flawed too.
I grew up with a family who loved me (and loves me still). I still learned, at a young age, that to be female in America is to be deeply flawed.
Today, I’m remembering my younger self, and feeling her rising panic, and telling her it’s going to be okay, even as I’m not sure how I can guarantee that. Yesterday, I was sad I didn’t have a daughter with whom I could have gone to vote. Today, I’m sad because I had the thought that I’m glad I don’t have a daughter who would be vulnerable today.
We must do better. We must tell a different story. And it begins today. There are still little girls being told they are “deeply flawed” for having been born female. It stops with us.
10 thoughts on “Deeply Flawed”
Thank you for putting into words what I felt but could not clearly articulate.
Thanks, Meredith. This is one of those “it takes a village” kind of days, isn’t it.
Thank you, Marci for your words. I forwarded this post to my young adult daughters with an apology for the the world that we live in and a promise to never stop working for them or other young women. We are better than this and our children deserve so much better.
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Thank you, Marci. I honestly don’t know what to tell my daughter and crafted my limited explanation of the election results this morning very carefully. My only solace is that she’s still young enough, she can’t understand how deeply troubling this is right now; however, I’m frightened of what this means as she grows into a young girl under this administration.
I’m praying for him and the elected members of congress to seek common ground. And then I’m praying there is a correction at mid term elections, in case that fails.
We are all deeply flawed, because we are human. But Marci, you are a woman who is honest and forthcoming and truthful about your life. Hillary was not able to convince voters that she is the same.
Kristy, I suspect that had I been the woman on the ticket, I wouldn’t have been able to convince voters either.
Yes, ‘amen’ should be enough. But: I carefully commented on some FB entries yesterday and notice that I am too careful sometimes and people did NOT get the subtle hint.
Let’s ask ourselves: how would we do?
What if the police was called to our home because of someone calling them that they continually heard a child cry in our home. The police came back 10 times during the next 10 days and then the neighbors would demonstrate in front of our house chanting ‘lock them up’. The newspapers start writing about the demonstration and specifically mentions that (the police stated) that there was no proof of child abuse but some neighbors commented that ‘where there is smoke, there is fire’. We then, as parents, make a statement to the reporter that we never abused our children and that some children cry more often than others.
Then someone brings up that 3 years ago we sent our older child, then teenager, to his room at 5 PM because he lied to us about consuming alcohol with his friends the weekend before. Consequently he had no dinner that night.
The neighbors now are quoted as saying: “We actually know that they send their children to bed with no food”. And that becomes the headline “Parents may have abused their children” in tomorrow’s paper.
How many of us would be able to even walk across the street with that headline, let alone convince everyone that we ARE honest, and forthcoming, and truthful?
Today, now, at 4:21 AM on the day before Veteran’s Day,I am honest, but I know that it is easy to show that some of my actions over the past 58 years show as less than honest, not very truthful, and certainly not always ‘forthcoming’.
If we accept that we are all flawed…..
I too will hope for 2 years of working together as a country. And hope we don’t see a flurry of new and (for some of us) restrictive, punitive laws in these 2 years. I am not a woman, not African American, not gay, not Muslim, not disabled, not a journalist, not living of minimum wage, not without healthcare. But I am worried for all of us.
I should have stopped after ‘Amen’.
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In the days after this election, I am finding that some things just have to be said. And we have to give each other forbearance and understanding to do it. It’s part of the healing process, right?
Of course! How can we know each other if we hide who we are.